When I first met my now-husband in 2019, I had no idea he was famous. But he was certainly handsome, with a gentle smile and nice teeth to match. I had just gotten off a plane from New York when we sat next to each other at the commencement ceremony at the University of Cambridge in England. Someone told him a joke about rowing and he laughed it off. I asked him if he was an athlete. “Not really,” he replied in a British accent. I took his words at face value and started talking about what we were researching.
We met many times on campus where I was pursuing my master's degree. I learned that his name was James and that he was 46 years old compared to my 33 years old. So, although we were not out of place among Cambridge's robust graduate student body, we were considered mature students. He asked me for help and I ended up teaching him statistics. It was during one of these study sessions that James told me that he was known in Britain for winning two gold medals in Olympic rowing, in 2000 and 2004. He said he had advertised for a local optician. As I am an American who had recently immigrated, I had no idea that the store was the largest optical chain in the UK. From his nonchalant demeanor I assumed it was a family run shop.
I also grew up in New York City, where everyone has a story and everyone is someone. You might say I'm jaded, but I think this is also why I ignored some clues about his celebrity for months. In our “Cambridge bubble” we were always around the same group. When we started dating, it caused little ripples around us. None of our friends ever asked him for a photo or autograph. To me, he was just a nice, normal James Cracknell who happened to have two gold medals. We loved spending time together going to the movies, going out for drinks, and going for walks in picturesque Grantchester. He was funny and wrote me a very beautiful letter.
In March 2019, James took part in the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, a rowing competition between two prestigious British universities that dates back to 1829. He kept telling me this was a big deal, but I only realized it in the weeks leading up to the tournament. I knew exactly what he meant. One night, close to race day, I went out to a crappy bar and the bachelorette party turned up. “Do you know who this man is?” one of the women demanded of me. “He is a valuable asset to Britain.'' I thought that was strange.
The week leading up to the boat race was really tough. The race is broadcast on the BBC and watched by millions of people. The media coverage was unusual because James was the oldest participant in the event's history. I finally put it together when Piers Morgan asked to interview him and realized I was dating a bona fide celebrity. I learned more about James as a person, but it didn't change what he meant to me.
He received hours of coverage on race day and was on the front page of the national newspapers here the next day.Turns out the man I was in love with was basically England's Eli Manning
Our relationship was still quiet, but I was grateful for it. It wasn't until July of that year that a newspaper article about us both appeared. I was on the train when I received an email from my mother saying that there were pictures of me online. Of course there was no Wi-Fi on the train, so I had to wait a whole hour to find out what she was talking about.
At first, it was really strange and unsettling to see the media coverage. It's strange to have such a loss of privacy in public, with hundreds of people commenting on your relationships, what you're wearing, and even your facial expressions. James, who has 20 years' experience in the British press, advised me to ignore it. Easier said than done, but that was the beginning. It helped that my family was very supportive of our relationship. But for me, who has primarily worked in the financial industry and been judged on how long I could sit in front of multiple screens in a navy blue suit while having intelligent conversations with investors, , it was definitely a new world.
Since then, James has appeared on the British version of Dancing with the Stars and Celebrity SAS, and is currently running for political office in Colchester (east of London). It took some time to get used to this new normal, especially the media attention to our relationship. Reporters managed to track down my family in the US and ask for information, but here in the UK they went knocking on the doors of friends. My brother thought it was funny and his friend slammed the door in his face. But once the initial interest wore off, it became much easier to deal with.
Then we got engaged. The details of our wedding were leaked to the press, and I was more angry with the person who leaked the information than with the press themselves. In addition to paparazzi at the church's main gate, two reporters in ill-fitting brown suits tried to disrupt the afterparty. When I found them waiting in line at the open bar, I kicked them out.
Now, press and fame are just part of my new normal. Now that he has become accustomed to life in England, he understands why James is famous in England. His Olympic victory meant a lot to the British people. This summer we will go to Paris for the Olympics. James ends up doing boat commentary while I watch beach volleyball and soccer.
It's been five years since we met, we're living a happy life in London, and I'm now a stepmother to James' three children. And at home, he's not a celebrity, he's just a normal James, watching TV, walking his dog, being kind and funny, and I love him for that.
