For Sale: 1 Used Republican Presidential Candidate. 454 million dollars, solid.
Don't miss your chance to win the Republican presidential nomination!
Donald Trump is a one-term, second-hand former president who is in the best shape mentally and physically, and many say they have never seen a former president in such good health. He would be an asset to buyers looking for influence, significant tax breaks or the opportunity to make a profit. Undermining Western democracies.
Is Trump a billionaire?Maybe not. Rich Donald Trump can't find the money to buy his bonds. How about a MAGA bake sale?
So far, the presidential candidate has never been wrong about anything, and has done everything perfectly, from running a business to calling foreign leaders to seek dirt on political opponents.
Experience includes: Being the best Republican president in American history, better than Abraham Lincoln. He develops a close and admired relationship with the notorious dictator. And he almost succeeded in overthrowing the presidential election through fraud.
President Trump's affinity for dictators:President Trump continues to praise dictators like Hitler and Kim Jong Un. Will Republicans care?
This unique, pure Trump model includes an authoritarian, curious man who is easily persuaded to exchange money for cheap red hats, promises that aren't kept, and a string of New York properties. We have an army of loyal supporters. The candidate does not want the state to be foreclosed on to pay a recent $454 million corporate fraud judgment.
Candidates are skilled in bankruptcy and have extensive experience selling steaks, vodka, mortgages, board games, ice, colleges, themselves, airplane flights, magazines, and more.
The seller is highly motivated, offering the entire candidate's family, an impressive portfolio of more than 90 criminal charges, and a $50 gift to spend on purchases of $1,000 or more at the Mar-a-Lago resort gift shop in Florida. One random ticket will be included. A box of secret government documents and a free signed copy of his best-selling book, The Art of the Deal ($1 million in shipping and handling charges not included).
Candidates must have a strong sense of morality, remorse, basic human decency, the ability to think outside the box, empathy, remorse, moral center, loyalty, coherent thought, and an understanding of how the law works. Note that it is missing.
Serious questions only. Foreign bidders are also welcome. Sales must be completed by Monday, March 25th.
Contact: John Barron, 1-800-LUV-MAGA.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Hupke on X (formerly Twitter). @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
