These days, it's very hard to tell from fancy job titles what people actually do for a living.
“Brand”, “vision”, “passion”, “craftsman”, “ambassador”, “innovation”, “global”, “coordinator”, etc. are all buried in a jumble of words.
Princess Beatrice's husband, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi, describes himself as the “founder and creative director” of a company called Vanda, but whatever that may be, the company is apparently a “multidisciplinary, design-led real estate business. “it seems like.
Banda's website is full of bespoke nonsense. For example: “Combining modernity and timeless elegance, Banda interiors may look like the finishing touches, but they're actually just the beginning.” What does this mean? Or?
Mapelli Mozzi is currently showing clients around a six-story, 10,000-square-foot home in Belgravia. It sits on a particularly bleak new square and has an asking price of £42 million.
Princess Beatrice's husband, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi (pictured), describes himself as the “founder and creative director” of the company Banda.
Mapelli Mozzi says she envisions a “happy family life” [the home’s] “The interior”, but in my opinion it looks well suited for an unhappy family
As far as I understand, he seems to be in charge of its interior and decoration on behalf of a Qatari real estate company that, like all companies these days, has a “vision”. Its vision is not just to make as much money as possible, but to provide “quality lifestyle and innovation in real estate development” to the world.
“If I had to live anywhere in London full-time, I would tell my friends it would be Chelsea, Belgravia, Notting Hill or Holland Park,” Mapelli Mozzi told property journalists last week. But these are precisely the areas of London that are becoming increasingly soulless by the cosmopolitan wealthy who have chosen to colonize them.
A century ago, the witty writer Logan Pearsall Smith said: “The misery of being rich is that you have to live with rich people.”
What can homebuyers expect for £42 million?
“Life here is not only the dazzling novelty of a variety of experiences, but also the satisfaction of daily rituals,” the blurb promises. This makes absolutely no sense. It is equally easy to apply to haystacks and wheelbarrows, and both are fairly inexpensive.
The blurb says that home is “not just a place to be, but a place to stay, cherish and belong.” Come again?
Do buyers need reassurance that for £42 million they can expect not just a house but a 'place to live'? It must be very depressing to spend £42 million building a house and then being told it's uninhabitable.
Mapelli Mozzi says he imagines a “happy family life indoors,” but in my opinion it looks much more like an unhappy family. This may be appealing to the type of businessman who has no sense of home design and is selective in choosing tables, paintings, sofas, lamps, carpets, mirrors, ambiance, and everything else that gives warmth and character. Professional.
Banda has peppered the grounds with appropriately gruesome objects, including a 650-pound marble-framed mirror in the “rock-like shape” that was “hand-carved from Breche Violette marble” by “Studio Pierre Augustin in Paris.” Decorated.
Mapelli Mozzi is currently showing wealthy clients around his new “luxury home” in Belgravia.
Oddly enough, Mapellimozzi says most buyers will also buy the contents and decorations.
It looks like something you'd find just above a single bar heater in a Blackpool B&B circa 1952, but thanks to an “enhanced suspension system” it's “similar to the classic chimney of the same stone”. It is said to be hanging from above.
Another “highlight of the home'' is “a galette dining table by Emma Donnersberg with a handcrafted oak top and picturesque perforated lava stone legs.'' is. It's like something out of The Flintstones.
Oddly enough, Mapelli Mozzi notes that most buyers will also buy fillings and decorations, perhaps because they are too busy making money to develop their own tastes. “When we build houses and apartments, people almost always buy everything because they support what we do.”
The great goalkeeper Chesterton once said, “To be smart enough to have that much money, you have to be stupid enough to want it.''
A monument to such folly is currently available in Belgravia, priced at £42 million.
