- “The Idea of You” stars Anne Hathaway as a divorcee who falls in love with a fictional boy, Bandar.
- This movie is the latest romantic comedy that romantically depicts the relationship between ordinary people and celebrities.
- A spokesperson and therapist for the ultra-wealthy spoke to Business Insider about how real these relationships are.
In the most famous scene in Notting Hill, movie star Anna Scott confesses her feelings for a bookseller named William Tucker.
“Fame isn't real, is it?” she says. “And don't forget that I'm just a girl too, standing in front of a boy and asking him to love me.”
This popular 1999 film starring Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant is one of several romantic comedies about relationships between celebrities and ordinary people, including “Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!'' Examples include, but are not limited to, “Another Cinderella Story.” Disney Channel original movies “Camp Rock'' and “Starstruck.''
Dynamics usually follow a familiar arc. First of all, ordinary people are blinded by the celebrity and their fame. And outside forces like paparazzi and fans can derail the relationship. But in the end, love wins. The couple overcomes the hurdles associated with fame because ordinary people embrace the celebrity lifestyle and romantic comedies require happy endings.
The Idea of You, currently streaming on Prime Video, is the latest film in this romantic comedy subgenre. Based on the novel of the same name, the film follows Solene (Anne Hathaway), a 40-year-old divorcee who unexpectedly falls in love with 24-year-old Hayes Campbell (Nicholas Galitzine), the lead singer of a boy band. The focus is on falling. August Moon after meeting at Coachella.
If this sounds like fan fiction, it's because Robin Lee's book was inspired by One Direction member turned Grammy-winning solo artist Harry Styles. His wavy brown hair, chiseled jaw, and tattooed body inspired many Wattpad stories.
However, although romantic comedies are unrealistic, this premise does not apply. Too Far-fetched. Matt Damon met his wife of 19 years, Luciana Barroso, while working as a bartender while filming a movie in Miami. Taylor Lautner's sister introduced him to his current wife Tay (née Dohm), a Twilight fan who was on Team Edward. Jon Stewart and his wife Tracy McShane met on a blind date soon after they started watching “The Jon Stewart Show,” and told friends they were looking for someone “funny and kind” like the TV host. did.
But appearances in movies don't just promote relationships with celebrities. Although stardom has its benefits, the downsides, such as relentless public scrutiny and a possessive and passionate fan base, can be major obstacles for couples. What happens when fame becomes an invisible third party in a relationship?
Business Insider interviews a celebrity PR expert and a therapist for the ultra-wealthy to find out how real these relationships are and what's going on in them, different from the glamorous and seemingly enviable ways portrayed in romantic comedies. I looked into whether it was necessary. To go far.
Obvious wealth and power imbalances are major obstacles
The idea of dating someone who's been in magazines and has money to spend may sound exciting to civilians, but with more fame and money come more problems.
“This is an unusual life. As I always say, money, wealth and fame can be toxic. It can be dangerous.” clay cockrell, a psychotherapist who has worked with ultra-high-net-worth individuals for about 15 years. “There's not a lot of templates for how to do it well. And there's a lot to navigate. There's loneliness issues, jealousy issues, shame issues. Money and fame can be addictive. ”
For celebrities, dating ordinary people may also come with concerns that outsiders will take advantage of their high status to approach them.
While wealth may be part of what makes celebrities attractive, Cockrell admits that “money, fame is who you are,” but that's the only quality that attracts non-celebrities. Then I said, “Well then, there's a problem.'' ”
Even if the attraction runs deeper than the deep pockets of celebrity, couples will still face many challenges.
“Based on my experience and my personal perspective as a publicist, everyone's experience is of course different, but I don't think it's the ultimate fantasy at all,” says the founder. said Lisa Anderson, president and CEO. Anderson Group Public Relations Department. “From my perspective, it's a very rare case that it actually works.”
“I think it's very difficult to be a civilian in a relationship when your spouse is constantly being watched, admired, and admired for just breathing,” Anderson added.
The celebrity spokesperson also said that inequality in this type of relationship is inevitable.
“They have everything at their disposal,” Anderson said. “So it creates a lot of anxiety for people who don't have the same access.”
Therefore, it's no surprise that there are so many celebrity power couples. taylor swift and travis kelsey to Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. In Hollywood, dating someone with a similar level of fame is simply practical.
“I'm not saying they're going to live happily ever after, but at least they have a chance,” Anderson said.
Cockrell agreed. “When you see celebrities marry other celebrities, it's because they have something in common,” he says. “You don't have to go through the work of bringing someone into this strange world, and a lot of people don't want that. They want privacy.”
In some cases, stars are Hollywood-adjacent and pursue relationships with people who aren't necessarily actors or musicians, but who might be able to understand at least a little bit of the peculiarities of the celebrity industry. Julia Roberts marries photographer Danny Moder In 2002, Patrick Dempsey marries celebrity hairstylist Gillian Fink 1999, and Keanu Reeves and artist Alexandra Grant They made their first public appearance as a couple in 2019.
“He's the only person I can think of who would find it so normal to have relationships with people who aren't famous,” Anderson said of Reeves.
“But he's an experienced professional. He's not just a young guy who's all new and different and exciting. He's been there all along, so he has a lot of experience and knows what's important to him. I know and I know the value of it. But if you don't, it can be very, very difficult.”
The high-pressure world of celebrity is one of the biggest threats to relationships
Couples have good intentions, solid communication skills, love each other, and want a healthy relationship, but their romance can still be derailed by other people.
“It's not the people that are in the relationship,” Anderson said. “It's the way people around you react. It takes a toll.”
Movies depicting relationships between celebrities and ordinary people show the negative side of fame, such as being constantly invasive. paparazzi Attention and vicious tabloid coverage. However, on screen, these hurdles are used primarily as plot devices, creating conflict in the couple's romance and predictably resolving for viewers to get a satisfying and satisfying happy ending.
But in reality, these problems don't just disappear. In the age of social media, it's nearly impossible for a celebrity to even go to a bookstore without a sneaky photo taken by a fan being posted on his Deuxmoi for the world to see.It's a big enough problem that celebrities have used tactics like wearing a disguiseYou can avoid unwanted attention by switching cars, avoiding certain restaurants, and using a fake name at hotels.
This relentless surveillance can be exhausting and strain relationships, Anderson said. “And the fact that you always have to have your camera ready when you go out with your spouse puts a lot of pressure on you.”. ”
For a relationship like this to work, you need time away from the spotlight
Even though the odds may seem slim for celebrity and everyday couples, these relationships aren't necessarily doomed.
Cockrell said it's essential to establish ground rules, be mindful of power relationships and eliminate embarrassment about wealth. When a financially unequal couple gets married or enters a serious relationship, it's important to openly discuss the distribution and ownership of money.
“People are more likely to talk about their sex lives than their bank accounts. That's a very, very private thing,” Cockrell said. “We have to have these conversations and it's hard to get through them, but we have to have them because things are going to happen.” It gets complicated really, really quickly.. ”
Anderson has said publicly that ordinary people have to accept being disturbed by their famous partners.
“If you go to dinner with a really famous celebrity and you're their plus one, you're literally going to be ignored,” she says. “It can’t be helped because people are just attracted to celebrities.”
The spokesperson said that since it is impossible to live a “normal life” as a couple in Los Angeles or New York, a willingness to relocate to a less concentrated, more remote location is necessary to create a healthy environment for the relationship. Said there must be.
So while it's fun to fantasize about winning a date with a Hollywood bad boy or running into a music industry favorite at a music festival, most of the time it's just an escapist fantasy.
“Don't think you're missing out on anything,” Anderson said. “I don't want to be Hugh Grant in that movie.”
