There was good news and bad news this past week regarding Donald Trump's bid to retake the White House. The good news is that our current mentally challenged fake president, Joe Biden, surprisingly agreed to debate Trump. This can only mean one thing: if the Biden team is willing to risk putting a stupid Biden in front of a television audience with a microphone, it means they know his campaign is in big trouble. Unless it's a Hail Mary to overturn dismal poll numbers, there's no way they're going to risk the humiliation and embarrassment of exposing their supporters' lack of maturity.
Now, the bad news: both debates are already rigged in Joe Biden's favor. Trump has already said he'll debate Biden “anytime, anywhere,” so the Biden campaign was ensuring that Biden not only had a home field advantage, but also a debate where the judges were clearly biased.
The first debate will take place on June 27th and will be hosted by Jake Tapper and Dana Bash, an apt name as the two have spent the last eight years “bashing” Donald Trump. In what kind of fair world would a presidential debate be hosted by a moderator who is openly hostile towards one of the participants?
Jake Tapper's disdain for the former president is well known and public. When Trump was defeated in 2020, Tapper said, “The long national nightmare is over.” His excessive jubilation over Trump's defeat was compounded when he said on air: “This was a time of some serious and entirely avoidable failures, the most tragic of all, the failure to respect facts and science and to do everything we could to save lives during the pandemic. It was a time of contempt for truth and facts. It was a time of cruelty, a time when official inhumanity such as child alienation became the official and shameful policy of the United States.”
Tapper has also been one of the biggest mouthpieces for the false “Russia collusion” theory, pushing it tirelessly for months, then failing to apologize or even report that the whole story was a scam perpetrated on the American people by the Clinton campaign. In fact, even after the release of the Mueller report, Tapper was raving about Trump sounding like a “Kremlin spokesman.”
If that wasn't enough to disqualify the man as an “impartial” moderator of the most important presidential debate since Lincoln Douglas, Tapper has also been openly hostile towards anyone questioning the questionable results of the 2020 election, refused to cover the Hunter Biden laptop case and likened Trump to Adolf Hitler in his response to illegal immigration.
Heck, with a record like that, they'd be better off having Jill Biden moderate the debate. And Tapper's co-moderator Dana Bash isn't much better, either. She also referenced Nazis when talking about Trump.
With that in mind, I thought I'd give you a preview of the CNN debate to give you an idea of just how one-sided this farce is going to be. Here are my predictions for how the debate will unfold:
Tapper: “Hello, and welcome to CNN's coverage of the first presidential debate between the honorable and great President Joe Biden and the election-denying, democracy-threating Donald Trump. Dana and I have carefully selected the topics for tonight's debate in a manner that is free of bias and prejudice. Tonight's topics are: “Trump's Multiple Felonies,” “Biden's Working-Class Scranton Upbringing,” “January 6th, a Long National Nightmare,” “Corn Pops – Man or Myth?,” “Trump's Mishandling of Covid-19,” “Good Old Uncle Joe,” “Trump's Racism,” “Record-Breaking Stock Market,” “Trump's Friend Vladimir Putin,” “The Tragic Death of Beau Biden,” and finally, “MAGA and the Neo-Nazi Movement.” The rules for this debate are very simple. Dana and I will ask pointed questions on each topic and give the candidates an appropriate amount of time to respond. If we feel that a candidate is lying or filibustering, we will cut off Trump's… no, the candidate's microphone. Let's get started…Dana.”
Bash: Thank you, Jake. I am truly looking forward to a fair and just debate between our Commander in Chief, President Joe Biden, and Putin's best friend, Donald Trump. Comrade Trump, this first question is for you: How have you avoided rotting away to death in a prison cell while committing hundreds of felonies?
Trump: “Why aren't there any questions about the economy, about immigration, about issues that Americans really care about?”
Tapper: “Cut your mic! Donnie, you're not going to make a travesty of this debate like you have done for the last four years you were in the White House. Stay on topic or I'll shut you down.”
Bash: Thank you, Jake. I'm going to ask a question to someone who truly respects women, our wonderful President Biden: Mr. President, can you tell me what it was like growing up in a working-class town like Scranton, Pennsylvania, as opposed to being born with a gold spoon in your mouth like some rich, obnoxious reality TV star?
Biden: “Thank you, Ms. Thatcher. What is it? Why am I hearing voices? Is it Jill? Jill, what's that doing in my head? The earpiece? Oh, am I supposed to repeat what you said? Sorry, what was the question?”
Tapper: “Mr. President, I think what you're trying to say is that having grown up in Scranton, you can empathize with working-class American families and you're doing everything you can to improve their lives. Great answer, Mr. President. So, going back to you, Don, I know this is hard for someone as self-centered as you are, but just answer the question: What on earth were you thinking when you committed a horrific insurrection at our nation's Capitol on that infamous day, January 6th?”
Trump: “I told people to march peacefully to the Capitol…”
Tapper: Cut his microphone! Liar! I can't stand this. I'm sick of your constant lies during this long national nightmare as president. You are a disgrace to the presidency and this platform.
Click. This is the sound of half the American people turning off their TVs. Jake Tapper and Dana Bash hosting the first presidential debate is an insult to the American electorate. We know a precocious 4 year old would beat stupid Biden in a debate, but Trump should have told Biden and fake news CNN to “Fuck off.”
