Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey are dating, which means she finally posted a photo of him on Instagram. They've never shied away from being publicly affectionate before, but not this time.
This period is commonly referred to as the “hard launch” — the time when couples say, “Hey, we're dating, and I don't care if anyone knows!” Of course, when it comes to celebrities, the moment a rumor hits the tabloids, everyone is combing through dozens of clues trying to find evidence about their lives. So when a celebrity posts about or, in Swift's case, brings him out onstage at her Eraser tour, it's that serious.
And it's not just Swift and Kelsey: Pop star Sabrina Carpenter decided to cast her rumored (well, not so rumored) boyfriend Barry Keoghan in her latest music video for her number one hit “Please Please Please,” and it turns out Keoghan is the only person Keoghan follows on Instagram.
We're in the “hard summer kickoff” period, and therapists say there are myriad reasons why celebrities pull that so-called trigger moment. But whether it's a carefully planned moment or an impulsive display of affection, you can't keep ringing that bell.
“Every aspect of the relationship becomes subject to public attention and scrutiny, putting the spotlight on the couple and creating pressure to be seen as a healthy pairing,” says Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor and author of Big Dating Energy. “It also increases the likelihood of exposure to criticism.”
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The tug of your stomach. The lump in your throat. The unsexy sweat dripping down your forehead. Dating can be hard for anyone, especially until you decide to confess. If it happens enough times, you might identify with celebrities.
“When you introduce someone as a partner, there's an expectation that you've vetted them,” says Kimberly Vered Shashoua, a licensed clinical social worker who often works with people in first-time relationships. “It can be embarrassing to have to announce your breakup to friends, family, and Instagram.” Think of all the couples, celebrity or otherwise, who don't make any announcements. Often, it's a matter of self-protection.
“People who have critical friends and family tend to want to keep their relationships private,” Shashoor says. “Taylor Swift has written songs about breakups and some media outlets have made spiteful comments. It's understandable that Taylor wouldn't want the media, who claim she can't keep a man, to comment on her latest relationship.”
Has her willingness to share on social media changed? No one knows for sure, but “it could be because she's become more comfortable with fame, more confident in herself, and less concerned about what other people think,” says licensed clinical social worker Cecil Ahrens. “Or it could be because she's become more comfortable in the relationship.”
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Who controls the narrative? It depends on the situation.
That being said, it's only natural that celebrities love to gush about their love lives. They're just like the rest of us: being in love feels good.
“When you're confident in your partner, it feels great to flaunt it,” Shashore says. “It's a lot easier to be honest than to sneak around to friends and family, and when you're active on social media, it can feel weird to hide such a big part of your life.” It's a declaration that Corgan is going after Carpenter alone; for her part, as she sings in “Please Please Please,” she just hopes she doesn't embarrass her new lover (in the song, but hey).
A hard launch is even more effective if you're a public figure because you have control over when and how people find out — and, crucially, before the tabloids find out.
“Celebrities may have more control over the narrative, which may lead to less speculation and gossip,” Guenther said. “It may be more of an illusion of control, but I still think it may have a positive effect on their overall mental health.”
Music Video Details:Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keorgan play chaotic lovers in the music video for “Please Please Please”
The risks and rewards of authenticity
People must weigh the benefits and risks of authenticity, which Ahrens says depend “on what celebrities get out of it, what the impact is on their personal and professional lives, and whether their choices are consistent with their personality and core values.”
No matter who you are, you're giving up parts of yourself during a hard launch, Ahrens says, adding that you might receive “unwanted attention” or face “constant boundary violations.”
It can also be a business strategy: “By being open about their relationships, celebrities can connect more deeply with their fans and strengthen their parasocial relationships, possibly leading to more sales and followers,” Guenther says.
This is a decision that requires care and discussion, and if today's rocky start couples do break up, expect a smooth landing.
