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I was never particularly good at sports. As someone with a movement disorder, my hand-eye-ball coordination is terrible. At school, I ate so many potato chips that they gave me presents on cross-country runs, and when I took off my glasses I became blind and couldn't even tell where my rugby ball was. His only interest was in getting me hurt.
I’m a bit older now, is it worth spending money on coaching or kit to catch up?
I have even dabbled in sports activities. When I was in my 30s, I used to go to the gym a lot. The main reason is that the workplace I worked for encouraged it by having its own gym. Who would turn down a freebie? Especially when you get paid to play loud dance tracks.
At one stage we even managed to win two packs. That is long gone, and so is any remaining fitness. I also played a little tennis. However, by the time I became president of my local tennis club nearly five years ago, my involvement in the sport had dwindled to watching Wimbledon and the annual matches. There are 16 grass courts and 8 hard courts, two of which are covered all winter, so I thought it would be a waste not to make more use of them.
If you're planning a serious return to the sport, that means you'll need to refresh all your kit, as well as consider taking lessons. I've always been a proponent of the “I have all the gear, but I don't know anything” approach to purchasing. The last time I bought all my tennis equipment in the 1990s, Stefan Edberg used Wilson Prostaff. So, that's what I bought. Twenty years later, using this racket, I look just like my grandfather did when he showed up at the golf course using his 1974 brass Ping Golf bat. I was humiliated.
While thinking about how to replenish my tennis arsenal, I thought that if a head racket is good enough for Andy Murray or Novak Djokovic, then of course I have to have it. A decent one costs around £180. I bought two for emergencies. Next, you need shoes suitable for hard courts. And they are different from those for grass. My budget is around £100 per pair.
If you play tennis at a club that takes these things into consideration, you'll need white or at least 'approved tennis wear'. He doesn't have to pay an extra £100 for two 'dry' shirts. If you wear a regular polo shirt, all the sweat will fall off and cause chafing. No one needs to be chafed. When you wear a T-shirt, you wonder where the collar is.
You'll also need shorts and tennis socks. And a bag to put all your belongings in. Racquet covers are great, but you need to look like you know what you're doing and a suitable bag will cost you around £70. Don't forget that unless it's a club brand, a bag that's a different brand than the racket is a no-no. And we don't do that. . . still.
You may also need quite a few balls. I like Slazenger's Wimbledon stuff. They smell great. 3 tubes of 4 for £16.60. This is getting expensive.
Don't forget to become a member of the club. For us, for just £900 a year you get access to all our activities including lawn tennis, swimming, squash, croquet, walking football, a gym, fitness classes and delicious discounts at the bar. If you just want to play tennis, it's £660. But I'm a life member thanks to my parents having to help him in the 1990s, probably with financial difficulties or something. So there are even fewer excuses not to participate.
Add all this up and you're committing to a significant amount of cash, even before you even consider coaching.
A few years ago, when I first picked up a new racquet to play in a “fun” tournament as chairman, it wasn't fun at all. It's amazing how your doubles partner punches a hole in the back of your head when you hit a volley into the net. Nor was he in the best condition to drag an old carcass around the court. Immediately he told me that it was enough to tense the muscles in my legs a little. Time to go to the physical therapist. It costs £40 per visit unless you have insurance. That led to de-fat exercises and spending 30 pounds a week to see a nutritionist who weighed her every time she returned to her frame.
But a 3 stone lighter, maybe one more stone, was definitely worth the money. That's the problem. Every expense you spend on sports or health-related activities should be viewed as an investment in yourself.
Like most subscriptions, it doesn't seem too expensive. One hour of private tennis coaching for at least 40 weeks a year for £39 seems reasonable. But over a year's worth of lessons he found himself spending over £1,500.
What's the point? No matter how hard I try or how many lessons I take, I will never be the next Carlos Alcaraz. And this is not a quick fix. You need to break bad habits, learn that you need to change your grip for each shot, and that tennis is as much a mental game as it is a physical one.
If you keep at it, your game will improve after a year or two, just like it did for me. Coach Pete has done a great job. So, can this approach be applied to other sporting activities?
I have not experienced kenopause yet. This phenomenon is explored in the new Barbie movie, where all Kens go through a phase where they suddenly start playing golf. A huge amount of money and frustration will be invested in that direction. This is one of the money pitfalls I've managed to avoid so far. But I like skiing.
However, there is a big difference between tennis coaching and ski lessons. His private lessons for people my age are simply there to prevent progress if you pursue alpine. Or, in my case, erase the 1990s “whoosh” and choose the 2020s “tilt and chop.”
For all the expense, is it worth it? yes. If you get better at tennis or ski a little faster than you used to, you'll feel better. It's all downhill from here, so enjoy the ride.
James Max is Chairman of Frinton-on-Sea Lawn Tennis Club fosltc.com, TV and radio broadcaster, and real estate expert. The views expressed are personal. X (Twitter), Instagram, Thread @thejamesmax
