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The Lockdown Browser Test is scheduled for midnight tonight, so instead of studying and actually testing it, I'm here dissecting and dissecting JoJo Siwa's recent career moves. Not that there isn't more work to be done, but JoJo Siwa told Billboard: I am the first of her generation…” and had to take time out of my day to write about her.
That being said, as a chronic user of TikTok and X, and painfully unable to say Twitter, I am painfully aware that the Siwa “rebranding” is happening.
For those who don't know who Siwa is, she is a former reality TV star and professional dancer on the show Dance Moms. She is, you know, the girl with the bow.
Siwa then signed with Nickelodeon and her brand of children's entertainment really took off. Now she wants to be one of pop's bad girls.
I'm not here to talk about her new song “Karma” or my feelings about the song itself. I'm here to discuss the strategies that she and her team are not executing well to make us believe that she is truly an adult.
Listen, I'm all for good PR stunts and image changes. I understand that this is an industry, so you have to make yourself stand out in some way. But Siwa and her team's approach is so poor it's almost insulting.
And it's not just wrinkles that lack integrity when it comes to changing styles, there's a lot more.
For example, Machine Gun Kelly's (MGK) turn to pop-punk was baffling, and while he found success in the genre, true emos like me couldn't do it and dismissed his plans. I was able to see through it.
To promote this bad girl image, Siwa was captured by paparazzi leaving Los Angeles adult shop Romantix. Obviously you can see what they're trying to do. They want us to know that she is sexually active just like adults. She left the store with a giant stuffed animal for adults. Because there's nothing more adulting than carrying around a three-foot stuffed penis. Come on, come on. Just thinking she went in there like a teenager who goes to Spencer's house thinking it's weird.
But I think the main problem with this rebrand and many others is that it's so disingenuous. As I said earlier, I'm all for artists changing their styles and genres over time, but this is completely different.
I think this is so disingenuous because it's clear she hasn't grown up yet. Although she says “left behind” instead of curse words in her songs, she still wears glitter and rhinestones from head to toe and a tattoo on her arm The sleeves are fake.
Needless to say, Siwa doesn't even have a songwriting credit on this song. This may not be relevant to most people, but I find it strange that a singer talks about the meaning of a song and talks about his life without even getting credit for writing the lyrics.
And all she does is talk about other celebrities and their rebranding, especially Miley Cyrus.
Everything seems so calculated and manufactured and it's really sad to think of how celebrities change themselves and do these weird things to get more fame and attention.
I've never been a fan of Siwa, even when I was a die-hard Dance Moms fan, but I don't hate her. I didn't write this to bash or bully her like the rest of the internet. Honestly, I wish she stayed true to herself and rocked rainbow sparkles and a bow if she wanted. And if she wanted to be seen as more mature, she could have done it without any obvious PR stunts to promote it, because that's who she really is. I think so.
But I still realize this is a business and people have to succeed somehow. I'm not a public relations expert, but I work in X and I know what people really want to see. So if she still wants to rebrand and do a bunch of PR stunts to achieve that bad girl image, I have some suggestions.
Mr. Wrinkle, please throw away your blonde hair. Dye it black or dye it a dark brown. Next, ditch the glitter and rhinestones completely.
Then you have to kiss your child fan base goodbye. If we really want to get rid of the image of child actors, we have to get rid of our children too. I want to see headlines of angry parents blaming you and saying they never want their children to hear you again. It would be even better if you could appear on FOX News.
Maybe we can connect you with a PR relationship with someone a little edgier and older. No more social media stars. It has to be with a real star.
I think it's best to contact Charli XCX. I know that a woman can have a great impact on your image and career if you sing her songs with her.
I sincerely hope this is a wake-up call to celebrities who are lazy and whose obvious PR stunts fool the public and don't change much of their audience's opinion. You have to be much smarter than that.
