After living in small towns and big cities in the Pacific Northwest, Southwest, and Midwest, and traveling around the United States with my family for a year, I have seen firsthand that Americans have a lot in common. I did. I was also able to experience the subtle, not-so-subtle, real and not-so-real cultural differences that exist in different parts of the country.
Some of these differences are being discussed in a viral thread on Twitter. Self-proclaimed “West Coast” Jordan Green kicks off There was an opinion that people on the East Coast were kinder and people on the West Coast were kinder, which encouraged people to share their social experiences in different parts of the country.
green I have written:
“When I explain the East Coast and West Coast cultures to my friends, I often say, 'The East Coast is nice but not nice, and the West Coast is nice but not nice,' and East Coasters understand that right away. West Coast people understand that right away. people get angry.
Kindness is saying, “I'm sorry you're cold,” and kindness might be, “Oh, I told you five times, this is a sweater!” Kindness is responding to needs, regardless of the tone.
I'm a West Coaster through and through, born and raised in San Francisco, moved to Portland for college, and now live in Seattle. We are kind, but not kind. We will politely listen to your rant, smile, and never speak to you again. In real life, I'm on mute. a lot.
We West Coasters believe that showing *sympathy* or feeling *empathy* is an act of kindness. Unfortunately, it's really just a nice gesture. It is kind to put a hat on the baby. (to breenewsome and BlackAmazon)
If you translate this into systems and policies, you will see that many wonderful words are used. West Coast liberals and radicals are very good at “sounding” nice. But I've seen organizers and activists elsewhere get frustrated because they talk a lot and nothing happens.
“When you translate this into institutions and policies, you see a lot of nice words being used, and West Coast liberals and radicals are very good at hearing nice words. But I've seen organizers and activists elsewhere get frustrated because they talk a lot and nothing happens. ”
Nothing happens after the pronoun check-in and icebreaker. People's immediate needs are rarely met reliably. There's no such thing as kindness. We often see people attend meetings who are hungry or need a ride home, and people with means freeze up when asked to help.
As we begin to “regain a sense of normalcy” or “realign” to what Blue States™ people think is right, I want us to keep in mind the difference between kindness and kindness I think. Just because something sounds nice doesn't mean it's kind. ”
Of course, there are genuinely kind and superficially good people everywhere, so these observations should not be taken as personal insults to individuals. Generalizations that lead to stereotypes are inherently problematic, and broad phrases like “East Coast” or “West Coast” are also somewhat meaningless and should be taken with a grain of salt.
In fact, small towns in South Carolina are probably culturally more similar to small towns in eastern Oregon than New York City, and there are some significant differences between the various subregions as well. In general terms, more specific cultural comparisons, such as “a large city on the West Coast versus a large city in the Northeast,” may be more accurate, but in any case, many people draw on their own experiences. Related to Green's observations.
First, I got a flood of responses from people explaining how New Yorkers can be cold on the surface, but at the same time they're willing to help you.
“@SikePiazza @jordonaut I'm standing pushing a stroller on the subway steps in New York City. If someone grabs me by the other end and helps me carry the stroller, I walk away without saying a word.”
Several people explained that the hustle and bustle required to earn a living in New York explains why people ignore the details. It's about valuing people's time. Wasting it on kind words is more rude than helping right away and moving on.
“@mcgowankat @MikeDeAngelo @SikePiazza @jordonaut Yeah, this is something that doesn't really make sense to people who haven't spent time in New York. Somebody's going to say, 'Hey, you fucking yo-yo! Money's falling. Why is it in your back pocket? Organize it.'' He saved me all the cash in my pocket. ”
“@jordonaut In the South, politeness takes the form of, 'I'll talk to you and ask you about your day. I'll give you some of my time.' But that doesn't work in New York. “I won't waste your time” is etiquette in New York. ”
Many people agreed and upvoted the original post (including some Canadians who confirmed that the difference between East and West is the same as ours).
“@candaceforpdx @jordonaut I used to travel to the West Coast a lot for work. Everyone was 'nice', but they had no sense of danger and didn't care about bothering others at all. I'm from the DMV. We get shit done. With a smile! ”
The “lack of urgency” is definitely a West Coast vibe, but it's generally viewed positively here. And “causing trouble to people around you” may be a subjective opinion. perhaps.
However, many people with bicoastal experience weighed in with their stories about how their experiences matched the basic premise of this thread.
“@jordonaut I'm brash, cussing, and visibly cussing. I'll take the shirt off your back if you have to. That's East Coast culture.”
“@KLDoorC @jordonaut This. I'm from Pgh and I'm talking to a friend in Seattle. She lives alone and needed help carrying things. Why don't you ask your neighbors?” She immediately replied that she wouldn't do that here. That would be frowned upon. That's the only way she could live.”
While certainly not universally true, the tendency for people on the West Coast to be more hands-off can be traced back to pioneering times. Pioneer and gold rush thinking was necessarily individualistic and self-sufficient. In my experience, people on the West Coast don't think you need help unless you ask for it directly. But because they are individualistic and self-sufficient, people don't ask. Therefore, automatic helpfulness has not become part of the dominant culture.
Things got even more interesting when the South and Midwest joined in the chat.
“@jamieleefinch @jordonaut @yumcoconutmilk My experience moving from the Midwest to the South shows this to be true. If you drive your car into a ditch, a Southerner will offer to call someone. Midwesterner. will jump into the ditch to help push you out.”
However, the views on being warm/nice/kind are quite different.
“@jamieleefinch @jordonaut @yumcoconutmilk It’s warm in the Midwest/You look kind or like you’re “from around here.” Another difference is that people on the East Coast and West Coast will never think of you again, but in the South and Midwest they'll keep gossiping about you until the end. ”
“@alexschiff @zsr5 @jordonaut I moved to Michigan after living my whole life on the East Coast. It took me months to make friends. People were nice, but I didn't like my old neighborhood, my high school… They already had friends from college, church, children's playgroup… They didn't need more friends and didn't stay in touch.”
One thing that's very clear from reading the various answers to this thread is that certain states and cities seem to have their own unique cultures that don't simply fall into categories like Eastern/Western/Midwest/Southern. about it. He has one book that explains how the United States is actually subdivided into 11 different regions that are like independent nations. This 1940 map also included 34 different cultural regions within the United States.
And don't let Californians tell you the difference between Northern California, Southern California, and the Central Valley. Once again, generalizations can only be made to a certain extent, since “culture” can be narrowed down to specific regions, and people's experiences and perceptions vary for a variety of reasons.
If you want to know what the data says about all of this, a quick search for research on which states are the friendliest will give you pretty mixed results, but people say Minnesota is the friendliest. It seems that they feel that it is. Wallethub's ranking of state philanthropy based on 19 factors, including volunteerism, also ranked Minnesota number one, followed by Utah, Maryland, Oregon and Ohio. Regional generalizations for these states are quite difficult.
And then there's the topic of “Good things about Minnesota,” which brings us back to the original thread.
“@SejalShahWrites I’m from Minnesota, and here we have a whole theme of what “Minnesota Nice” means on the surface. ”
There are so many factors that go into a place's culture, from its population density to its history of settlement to the personalities of the people who call it home. As anyone who has visited a city ten or twenty years apart can attest, the atmosphere of a place can change over time.
The truth is that no matter where we live, we play a role in shaping the culture around us. If we want to make the places we live friendlier, we can make ourselves friendlier too. If we want to see people helping each other, we can be examples of that. We may stand out, but we may also inspire others who aspire to the same thing.
The phrase “be the change” may seem a bit of a cliché, but no matter what country or part of the world we live in, it really is about changing the world in the direction we want it to be. That's the key.
This article was originally published on January 22, 2021.
