12.
“I have lost contact with my father twice. The first time was shortly after my mom and dad got divorced. My dad lived close to my brother and was pretty involved in his children's lives. However, after the divorce, my dad sent a letter to my brother informing him that he was no longer a grandfather, that this time it was about my dad (it was always about him), and that he was going to focus on himself. This hurt my niece and nephew. My children were very young at the time and didn't know much about my father, so I was determined not to let this man hurt my children. Then about eight years later, my oldest daughter started asking about my father. I told her I didn't want a relationship with my father, but that she should proceed with caution if she wanted to.”
“Around this time he had remarried and settled down, and was in a relationship with all my other grandchildren again, but I was determined to let my children decide what kind of relationship they wanted when they were older, so we had an awkward reunion, but from what I could see he was good to them. About two years later, my younger brother got married. I had been dating him for a year and I wanted him to meet my family, including my children, at the wedding. Well, my narcissistic dad was pretty snarky at the wedding (probably because he wasn't the center of attention) and when I tried to introduce him to my boyfriend he walked out. Not a word was said. Even now, seven years later, at family gatherings, he still doesn't say a word to my boyfriend. No one knows why, not even my brothers who still have a relationship with my father. My boyfriend is the sweetest person I know. So I cut off contact for the second and final time. He lives in another state now so I probably will never see him again, but I'm okay with that. It's not easy to be in a relationship with a narcissist. You have to remove toxic people from your life, even if they are family, to avoid getting caught up in it.”
—47, Colorado
